GrandFriends: Creating Intergenerational Bonds

Around the big circle of chairs, faces alternate between smiling seniors and bright-eyed four-year-olds.

They sing, clap colorful sticks, and help one another as the group’s leader, Itty Shemtov shares information on Tisha B’Av, the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and mitzvas or “good deeds” that can be done to rebuild the wall.

The children and seniors giggle and beam while writing ideas for good deeds on paper cups. One by one the children add their ideas – stacking the cups to simulate the temple’s restoration.

The touching, cross-generational scene comes courtesy of GrandFriends, a weekly program organized by The Shul to provide meaningful engagement between seniors and children.

The program has been bringing joy to seniors at the Meer Apartments for nearly two years. The Shul offers emotional, physical, and spiritual assistance to individuals and families in need.

Over the past four years, United Way has provided $105,000 in grant funding to The Shul primarily to support their food programs which provide culturally relevant, fresh meals to seniors and community members in need.

“Intergenerational bonding builds strong communities,” said Emily Mueller, Director of Basic Needs at United Way. “Creating shared space in programs like these for our children and seniors brings tremendous learning, connection and well-being for everyone involved.”

INTERGENERATIONAL BENEFITS

Gifts and snacks are shared between the GrandFriends each week. Efforts are made to keep the pairs together but with each new match comes a new opportunity.

“They have a magical hour together, talk about important things, eat snacks, do crafts, sing songs, chat, and just do what friends do,” said Itty Shemtov, education director at The Shul. “They just form a GrandFriends relationship that lasts forever.”

Itty explained that four-year-olds are at the perfect age of openness to social interaction without the judgementalism that comes with age. Itty is currently exploring creative ways to expand GrandFriends offerings because so many kids who have aged out of the program are missing the connection and want to participate again.

Today, the kids and seniors join in a chorus singing, “Shalom, shalom, I love my friends,” each adding their name as the song progresses.

“The program’s results are unbelievable,” said Rabbi Yudi Mann, publications director at The Shul. “One senior’s manner changed completely. They were previously quiet and downtrodden. Now, they are saying hi to everyone and beaming whenever the kids come.”

COMMUNITY GRANDPARENTS

GrandFriend Dolly Murley is an 85-year-old resident of Meer Apartments. As a mother of two, grandmother of eight and great-grandmother of one, Dolly loves quality time with her family when they come to visit.

“I wish my family would come every day, but they visit about once a week,” said Dolly. “I taught my grandkids how to cook: first, milkshakes and then, brisket.”

Dolly’s GrandFriend today is Eden, who holds up four fingers to show her age.

“It’s amazing how old I am and how young she is, we can relate,” said Dolly. “Older people with young people who’ve got a fresh mind, we’re able to play together.”

GrandFriends provides a welcome opportunity to create connection and belonging for others whose family members live in other areas.

“My children and grandchildren are all grown up,” said June Rudenstein. “These kids are so innocent and so accepting. It’s just delightful.”

As the hour winds down, the groups create art projects together. Marcia Tanzman who’s a proud “97 and a half,” is already planning the next visit.

“I’d love to come back,” said Marcia. “The kids are so alert and aware— their eyes are just bright and beautiful.”

Donate today to support GrandFriends and other United Way programs for seniors and children.